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McDonald’s Stocks Skyrocket 200%: “Making McDonald’s Great Again” | October 23, 2024

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In a stunning twist of fate, McDonald’s—a company that already holds a special place in the American heart and stomach—saw its stock skyrocket by 200% following a recent visit by none other than former President Donald Trump. Donning an apron and manning the fry station at a Pennsylvania franchise, Trump seems to have cooked up more than just french fries. In fact, the former president may have just fried his way to the top of Wall Street.

McDonald’s executives, who were still picking their jaws up off the floor after witnessing the company’s stock price surge faster than a drive-thru order on a slow Tuesday night, couldn’t believe the meteoric rise. “I think we’ve finally found our new marketing strategy,” said a McDonald’s spokesperson. “Forget celebrity endorsements or TikTok influencers—we’re thinking about giving Trump a permanent fry position. Heck, we’ll even rename the Big Mac to the Trump Tower Special if this keeps up.”

It all started innocently enough. Trump, on a campaign stop through Pennsylvania, decided to trade in his suit jacket for a McDonald’s apron, instantly reminding America of his love for fast food. The former president, who has often expressed his admiration for McDonald’s during his time in office, stepped behind the counter, flipped a few burgers, and claimed to be “making McDonald’s great again.”

“You can trust me. Nobody makes fries better than me. Nobody. I’ve always said, if I wasn’t a billionaire, I’d be here running the best McDonald’s in the world,” Trump declared to a bewildered but excited crowd. “They say Kamala worked at McDonald’s, but can she make fries like this? I don’t think so!”

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